An explanation
by Smudje
Summary: Why is Tony always late for work?
1. Chapter 1

**An explanation... **

**Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine...**

"Good morning sunshine!"

It was 6:30 am when Anthony Dinozzo let the morning sun into Tobin's room. Tobin lay curled up under his blanket clutching his favorite handkerchief tightly. His eyes were still tightly closed and his features relaxed. Tony approached the bed of the sleeping kid carefully. He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and stroke the child's face softly.

"Hey midget wake up. Breakfast's ready," he uttered softly in Tobin's ear. He stirred slightly but his eyes remained closed. Only his once relaxed features dissolved into one's of slight discomfort. Tony continued to stroke Tobin's face. Eventually he leaned down and planted a kiss on Tobin's head. Now gently ruffling through the short hair and finally lifting the blanket from his body. Tobin started to moan and grunt to show that he didn't like what his father was doing. While shoving the blanket from the bed Tony leaned down to connect his forehead with Tobin's and they stayed like this for a while. Tony remaining in this position pulled the kid up into a sitting position and took Tobin's hands in his. Tobin started to trace the lines of Tony's hands then the fingers. Then he squeezed Tony's fingers between his and started to throw his open hands in Tony's. By doing so Tobin relaxed and took his forehead away from his father's. Then he reached out for his handkerchief which he held between index and middle finger and sometimes touched it with his other hand. He also blew at it to make it move. And all along he made sounds indicating that he was feeling comfortable. Tony let him proceed while he picked out some clothes to wear.

" Come on midget. Get out of bed," Tony said patiently. Tobin remained where he was and totally ignoring his dad's order.

"Andiamo! Alzisi! Bambino!" Tony said playfully. Tobin seeming oblivious to his father's orders on the outside started to smile. He perfectly understood what Tony wanted but he seemed to weigh the pros and cons. Sometimes Tony had a feeling that Tobin was making a game of getting up or following orders. Either he wins or he loses. When he wins he's happy to be left alone and when he loses he accepts it with his typical "out-of-touch-with-reality" smile.

"Andiamo avanti bambino!" Tony said now slowly losing patience with his stubborn son. As Tony started to pull him out of bed Tobin started to scream, as usually. He began to push his father away but Tony didn't let go. Then Tobin began to lash out at his father and screamed like he was being slaughtered. He landed a good punch to his father's stomach and a well aimed kick at his right knee. Tony inhaled sharply and squeezed his eyes tightly shut because of the pain firing through his body.

" Hey!" he shouted. "Stop it now Tobbs! Don't hit me damn it! Just get up"

Tobin continued screaming and lashing out at Tony. Tony let go of him and kneeled down in front of hid upset son defeated.

"Hey midget," he said in a soothing voice. "It's ok. Calm down. It's okay. Just get up buddy. Shhh...shhhh." Again Tobin took his father's offered hands and hit his hand on Tony's. Then he bit in his wrist made loud sounds while he made his father hit his hand on Tobin's. After a while Tobin started to relax and touched Tony's nose with his finger. That was a sign for peace. Again Tony got up and tried:" Come on get up midget. We gonna make a huge breakfast ok? You hungry?"

A small nod showed that Tobin was ready to coorporate. Finally Tobin was standing in the bathroom being helped to get dressed. He was sitting on a chair while Tony put his feet into his pants.

"So pull up your pants! Here take this and pull. Pull, pull pull. I know you can kiddo. Come on."he said cheering his son up.

Tobin didn't react at all and started to protest with deafening screaming. He also bit his wrist again. So he was left in the bathroom and Tony went to make breakfast.

Eventually at 7.30 they were both seated at the kitchen table and eating.

While Tony cleared away the remnants of their breakfast Tobin was rocking back and forth and uttering sounds. When they finally got into the car and arrived at school Tony was already 37 minutes late for work as always when he had to bring Tobin to school which was a longer distance away from DC . He entered the bullpen at 8.45, one our and forty five minutes late to a grumpy Gibbs.

**A/N: I'm neither italien nor english. I used an online translator for some words and I'm not sure if I used all the preps right.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't think it's brillant and Gibbs might be out of character but I'm not so good at writing filler chapters. I have an idea how Gibbs meets Tobin just have to figure out how to get there with help of fillers.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own...**

* * *

Tony walked whistling into the bullpen with a easy bounce in his step. He winked to an Agent he'd never seen before. He knew that his seemingly relaxed and uncared attitude he showed would annoy Gibbs to death, also would it increase Gibbs' anger at him. But he just couldn't show it for fear he would lose it and act so totally unlike him and just let it all out. Gibbs already stood tossed his cup into the trash took his badge and gun from the lowest drawer of his desk. As McGee and Ziva did the same Gibbs had apparently already ordered them to gear up. Seeing the truck keys dangling from McGee's hand Tony assumed tasks had been distributed too. He expected Gibbs to headslap him then telling him with a dangerous voice to expect the talk later and finally tell him to follow. But this time Gibbs gave him a death stare and walked by, Ziva and McGee following right behind. Tony stood there rooted to the floor totally shocked and flabbergasted.

* * *

As he stepped out of the elevator a deafening noise came from the Lab which was Abby's territory. Tony walked in and hopped onto the table behind Abby. She was busy hammering on the keyboard and looked in super high speed from screen to the other. All sort of images appeared on the screens and Tony just enjoyed watching not being found yet. Finally Abby turned having sensed a change of environment. 

"Gibbs you already back. What have you got for me?" she asked while turning to face the person behind of expecting her vital drink.

Startled she walks over to her CD-Player to switch her music of and states focusing on Tony:

" You're not Gibbs." She almost dislocates her neck in the process to look behind Tony to see if Gibbs was standing behind Tony or coming in to bring work for her to do.

"You're here!?" she said slightly confused still looking for the others. "Why are you here? Tony!"

Tony looks into her eyes shortly and said:" What are you doing here? Know something about the crime scene they are going to? Do they have a new lead or did they get him?"

Abby contemplated the person standing in front of her and asked:" You were late, weren't you? You gotta tell Gibbs Tony. He's gonna understand, help. You'll..."

"I don't need help. I can care for my son perfectly. I'm not a bad dad. Anyway what is Gibbs gonna do. Is he the super hero knowing it all?" he interupts Abby irrtated.

* * *

"Jen that't my case, our case. We've been working our asses off on this case!" Gibbs shouted at the director of NCIS getting more and more fustrated. 

"I konw Jethro but I cant't do anything about it. With this new lead we lost jurisdiction," Jen answered as if talking to a three year old.

Enraged and in the same time defeated Gibbs turned, pushed the door open violently and rushed down the stairs. While Gibbs descended the stairs Tony stepped out of the elevator.

"Dinozzo! For a word!" Gibbs voice echoed through the bullpen and made Tony stop in track. Ziva and McGee looked up and felt pity for their friend and colleague.

Tony stood rooted on spot in front of the elevator when a mad Gibbs pushed by hit the button and stepped into the lift and waiting impatiently for a terrified Tony to follow.

Some seconds passed until Tony was able to move and dreaded to enter the elevator with Gibbs in it.

Finally he made it and the doors closed. He felt claustrophobic and his heart pounded violently in his chest. He felt like it would burst.

Gibbs pushed the emergency stop button and the elevator came to an abrupt halt. Gibbs remained silent. Drank from his coffee seeming calm and casual. Tony started to become nervous and fidgeted. Gibbs didn't acknowledge Tony's uneasyness at all. Just sipping from his coffee and remaining distant and silent.

Finally Tony couldn't bear it any longer and said:" Sorry Gibbs I overslept and then the traffic...

Tony's rant was cut short by Gibbs' hand connecting painfully with the back of his head.

"You know what I think about apologies Dinozzo?" Gibbs asked in a calm and dangerously low voice.

"it's a sign of weakness."

Suddenly Gibbs turned to Tony facing him:" It's been the third time this week. And I don't start with last week. But today. Two hours. That's not gonna happen. If your girls are more important then I'd love to finally stand up to what I threatened you with. But due to the fact that's been the first time it's been two hours and I don't believe your explanation I warn again," Gibbs threw at Tony.

"Tony you know I'll be there for you. You just have to talk to me," Gibbs offered but becoming hard and casual immdiately.

After that Gibbs turned away again and calmly pushed the button and the elevator started to move again.

"I overslept Boss," Tony answered hestantly and without looking at Gibbs.

Just before the door opened and they stepped out Gibbs told Tony in a casual way:" The case isn't ours anymore. So that would have been an almost free weekend for you. We're on call. And you're gonna be here instead of Ziva."

With that Gibbs walked by and sat at his desk to finish up some paper work. Tony went to his desk to finish his report but running through every person he knew that could take care of Tobin for the weekend.

* * *

_just let me know what you think and how you would let Gibbs react in a more Gibbs- way if you think he reacts to much out of character._


	3. Chapter 3

**N/A: Thanks for the reviews.**

**Diclaimer: Still don't own.**

* * *

Chapter 3 Chapter 3

It was eerily quiet in the bullpen. The light was dimmed only two other Agents were condemned to die of boredom on this Saturday evening. Tony had just finished his thousandth game of tetris now he was leaning back in his chair, feet propped up onto his desk his eyes closed, he hoped that this weekend would finally end. But it was only Saturday. As this realisation hit him he groaned and massaged his temples. He yawned frustrated due to his fucked up weekend.

Fortunately Abby had agreed to watch Tobbs over the weekend. She moved in because it would work better than moving Tobbs to some unclose place. He doesn't do big change well.

Nothing had happened so far except for Ducky passing by because he had been given a last minute case.

He was bored beyond words being both confident in Abby's skills and nervous because of Tobin's unpredictability. His son hadn't been in a good mood this morning. He hoped nothing would happen.

He was just dozing off as the phone rang. Tony jumped an found himself on the floor hastily getting up and grabbing the phone.

"Special Agent Athony Dinozzo:"

Everything Tony could hear at first was screaming and loud noise. He became alert by the sound, expecting it to be an emergency call which would lead him to a crime scene getting him out of this boring day.

But he knew the voice that spoke:" Hey Tony it's me!"

"What's up Abbs?" Tony asked getting nervous.

The screaming in the background reached a painful level.

"Tobbs... I wanted him to help...and he even wanted to .."she sobbed"...I wanted him to set the table and then the dishes slipped from his hands and broke. He was scared and stepped onto them."

"Is he badly hurt?" Tony asked worried already standing.

Abby's answer was almost drowned by Tobin's desperate screams:" He cut himself. He smears his blood all over the place and he pu his clothes off and his diaper. He's hurt at his feet and at his right hand. But I couldn't have a look at it. I think it looks worse than it is. He thrashes he place. But we need Ducky."

Tony rubbed over his face trying to calm himself. He could still hear Tobin scream and thrashing the place so it couldn't be live threateningly.

"I'll be there soon and bring Ducky. He's here," Tony answered breathlessly and hung up the phone and raced down to the morgue.

"Oh boy that must've been a day. You...," Ducky talked to the corpse lying before him. He was cut off by Tony bursting through the doors.

"Duck!" Tony shouted even before he reached Ducky.

He panted heavily.

"Anthony my dear, what is up?" Ducky tried to find out and to calm the worried Agent.

"It's Tobbs. Abby called..."

Ducky had put off his gloves immediately as he heard Tony's son's name thrown his coat over and pulled Tony with him. His medical bag in his hand they reached the parking lot.

Ducky grabbed Tony at his sleeve and pulled him away from his Mustang and towards Ducky's car.

"I'll drive Tony, that'll be better."

While racing through town Ducky asked:" What exactly happened?"

"Abby was fixing dinner and wanted Tobin to set the table. He actually did so without complaining. You know using his stereotypes to make him do something useful," Tony rambled anxiously.

"The dishes slipped from his hands and broke. He started to scream and ran over them because he was scared. Well he bleeds... we don't know how bad it is...but it can't be...I mean he's still screaming...you know. Abby also talked about aggressive behaviour like thrashing around smearing blood and excrement... has fun with his diaper," Tony snorts bitterly and ironically.

Ducky only nodded and parked right outside Tony's house. Grabbed his medical bag hurried up to the front door with Tony on his heels. When they entered the house they were greeted by a frantically screaming, bleeding and covered in excrement Tobin.

Abby was standing in the middle the mess that used to be the living room connected to the large kitchen looking lost and she was crying silently.

Tony rushed towards his upset son and tried to soothe him. But soothing an upset Autist is almost impossible. Finally Tony had managed to sit Tobin in his favourite corner of the house.

Not intending to corner him Tony crouched down next to Tobin and started to imitate his son's movements. The two of them were rocking back and forth. Tobin was still screaming but had stopped to flinch at Tony's presence and closeness.

"Duck," Tony said quietly. "Is it bad?"

Ducky approached Tobin carefully, also kneeling down and said with a soothing tone:" Hey Tobin. It's me Ducky. You remember my dear boy, I only want to help you. Let me have a look at your injuries ok?"

Carefully Ducky reached out to take Tobbs' injured feet. But Tobin flinched immediately and pulled away.

Ducky looked up at Tony:" Maybe you should calm him before I can do anything. From what I could see there are no glass splinter in his feet."

Tony nodded and turned to his son.

"Hey midget. You wanna have a bath. With big bubbles and music? How's that?"

Tobin didn't react at all but started to unclench a little. Tony slowly got to his feet.

* * *

"Gibbs!" Gibbs grunted into the phone.

"Gibbs this is Jen. You got a case. Dinozzo disappeared so the call reached me," the director of NCIS told Gibbs.

"Ziva, McGee informed?" Gibbs asked. "I will handle Dinozzo.

"Yes, they're on their way in and waiting for you," Director Sheppard answered.

Gibbs had disconnected and was already racing towards the NCIS HQ breaking every law in traffic, that one could break.

"We take the truck. Is Ducky informed?"

"Yes," McGee answered. "He said he had an emergency right now but would come as soon as he could.

"I drive!" Gibbs exclaimed.

After some minutes of driving, speeding, McGee noticed that they were heading into the wrong direction.

"Boss," McGee asked tentatively. "The crime scene is in the other direction."

Slap. "I know that McGee," Gibbs answered annoyed.

"So where are we going Gibbs?" Ziva asked confidently.

"Guess where. Who's missing and shoud've been on call?" Gibbs stated his anger rising.

Both Ziva and McGee turned to look out of the window feeling pity for their friend and colleague.

All of a sudden they stopped. McGee and Ziva looked at Tony's house in astonishment.

"Wow;" McGee exclaimed stupidly.

One stare from Gibbs made McGee turn pale and follow Gibbs quickly up to the front door.

* * *

They was a short tempered knock on the massive wooden front door. Abby jumped slightly and faced Ducky questionably. As Ducky was cut short in telling his story to Abby merely shrugged and said:" That could be Gibbs. He always cuts me short in a really rude way." The older man stood up and opened the front door.

"Duck?" Gibbs stated surprised to find him here.

"Gibbs, Ziva, McGee."

"What are you doing here Duck?" Gibbs asked impatiently hating to feel left out.

"We got a case and where the hell is Dinozzo?"

Ziva looked around so did McGee finding Abby and the chaos surrounding her. Excrement and blood was smeared all over the place. Broken dishes and interior laid on the floor and Tony's holy DVDs's laid in a mess.

"Who's screaming?" Ziva asked alert. "And where is Tony?"

"What is going on in here Duck, Abby?" Gibbs asked impatiently and worried.

The three agents where eyeing the scene carefully and tensely.

Suddenly, before Ducky or Abby had a chance to reply, a door burst open and a naked and screaming maybe seven year old boy ran out into the living room screaming deafeningly.

Tony, totally soaked wet, stepped out right after the frantically screaming kid and shouted:

"Close the door!!"

Ducky rushed over immediately and threw the door shut. Tobin made a U- Turn and headed towards his little corner between wall, the shelf were the DVDs's had been placed on before Tobin threw them down and the smaller of the two couches in the room. He crouched down, rocking back and forth still screaming and tripping wet.

Ducky and Abby remained calm and stepped out of Tobin's view to not appearing to corner him.

Tony had disappeared.

Ziva and McGee stood there rooted to the spot and shocked, their jaws had almost dropped to the floor. Even Ziva who is always in control of her emotions couldn't hide her surprise and shock.

"Duck!" Gibbs demanded not being able to take his eyes off of the little screaming kid.

Ducky simply turned and faced Gibbs whose mood showed irritation.

"That is Tony's son," Ducky said trying to make himself heard over the screaming.

"His son," McGee deadpanned. "Tony has a son."

"Is that so hard to believe. Come on McGee. He has so many girls it is impossible to not have at least one child," Ziva said trying to be sarcastic which was a bit hard because of the shock she had just suffered from.

Abby turned towards her looking furious:" How can you speak of him like that Ziva. Tony is different as he lets show. That, she pointed at Tobin, was something serious."

Ziva raised her hands as a sign for peace and backed away.

"Duck, how long has that been going. I mean Tony and his son?" Gibbs asked sounding a little hurt but quickly covering it with a death glare.

Ducky turned to Tobin who was still screaming:" Tobin's has been living with him for two month now. Before he had been with his mom in Baltimore."

"Since when did you know?" Gibbs asked watching the kid.

"Tony came to me about two and a half month ago. Tobbs was sick and he hates doctors and everything connected to it. So he asked if I would try. And since it worked I came over every time I was needed."

Ziva had watched Tony's kid for a while and thought that his behaviour was really odd.

"What is wrong with him? Why is he screaming as if he was slaughtered?"

At that moment Tony re- entered the room dressed in dry clothes, and a set of fresh clothes in his hand for the still naked Tobin and answered:" Tobbs is autistic. And he screams because he is hurt but mainly because he had to leave the bathtub before all of the bubbles had disappeared, " Tony answered.

Gibbs turned and directed his next words at Ziva and McGee:" McGee call the Director and tell her to give the case to another team and Ziva go back to the HQ you're on call till I say something else." And as no one moved he said:" That's an order!"

With that the two Agents turned on their heels and with a last glance at Tobin they left reluctantly.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked it. This chapter took me sometime and I'm quite nervous about it because I had it planned out but while writing it down on Pc I stopped to follow the plan. So this just hapened. I don't know yet how Gibbs will react when Ziva and McGee left. Let's see what will come.**

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

Kryptonite

* * *

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. So suffocating. Gibbs stared at Tony's son, a mix of anger and disappointment radiating from him. Abby and Ducky sat tense and quiet trying to foresee what would happen now. Their gazes wandering between Tony and Gibbs.

Suddenly Gibbs stood up and walked towards Tony and slapped him on the back of his head. Gibbs towered over the young man's bowed form awaiting his reaction, an explanation. But the reaction he received was far from what he expected.

"Who do you think you are?" Tony pressed through gritted teeth as he stood face to face with Gibbs. His anger giving him the courage to stand up to Gibbs.

"You think you know it all. You think you have the right to burst into my home and headslap me. To be actually pissed because you weren't informed about my autistic son. What do you think to have the solution to this situation? That I can't do this without you? What...?" Tony rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. He felt drained and awkward after shouting at Gibbs. The man he considered his father. At least more than he would consider his real father a father. He felt bad for shouting this things at Gibbs for shouting in general. But it also felt so right to have it all out.

While he was shouting at Gibbs he hadn't been able to see the older man's face. Because he had concealed his emotions so quickly that Ducky almost didn't catch them. But Ducky had been able to make out shock about Tony actually shouting at him and anger for being treated like that. But there had also been pride about Tony having the courage to voice his thoughts and emotions uncensored.

After an awkward and tense silence and what had just happened sunk in Gibbs said calm and cold:" It's ok to not have told me cause our relationship is only work related. So everything that concerns your private life is none of my business. Therefore I won't take your situation at home into consideration. Be on time tomorrow!"

Without one last glance he turned and walked out of the door.

When the door fell shut Tony fell back onto the couch burying his face in his hands.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck FUCK!" Tony started to shout all of a sudden his voice growing louder with each word. He had jumped off the couch and paced between the two couches. As he stopped abruptly he looked up into Abby's and Ducky's faces pleading with them to help and fix this mess he got himself into with his outburst.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's short and probably not what you expected. I hope you like it nonetheless.**


	5. Kinder

**KINDER**

* * *

**AN: I finally got this out of my system. It's not the direction I wanted the story to head or how I wanted it to end. Well I intended to go a little deeper into the topic autism but I decided against it. My example for Tobin were two autistic children I worked with for a year. One has autoaggessive outbursts(you usually don't know the reason fo it.) and the other is now on medication so that he sleeps for a few hour a night, at least. He also has autoaggressive outbursts(we don't know the reasons for.) Both tend to hurt themselves and the people around them when they are in one of their outbursts.**

**I Hope you enjoyed the story a little.**

* * *

They had left him in his apartment in the mess he had gotten himself into by shouting his anger at Gibbs. His helplessness, his pain and his stress had gotten the best of him and he had snapped. Tony loved his son. More than anything in his life but having him at home, dealing with his moods his outbursts and his sleeplessness sometimes took everything out of him. He sat there on the couch gripping the bottle of beer so tightly as if it was the only thing that kept him from drowning. He listened to a song by Bettina Wegner named "Kinder" which spoke of how to treat children. How to be strong for them. How they needed their parents to lead them. How dependent they are how one blow can break them. It spoke of the responsibility parents had towards their children no matter what. He let a deep sigh escape his mouth some tears found their way over his sad face. No one knew how he felt. What a burden it was to love a child like Tobbs. No one knew the guilt that came with feeling weak and helpless when he faced his son's outbursts. Tony should be able to take Tobin's fears from him. He should be able to make him feel safe. Should be able to explain the things Tobbs didn't understand to him. The things that scared him. But he failed. Failed his son. He knew that this thoughts were irrational because he did everything he could to be a good father and he knew he was but irrational thoughts were not meant to be explained rationally. Tobin was Tobin. Tony always let him be the person he is. He never attempted to make his autistic child less autistic. He didn't see it as a flaw. But nevertheless the situation was slowly pushing him towards his limit. He hasn't had good night's sleep for month. Because Tobbe rarely slept through the night. Sometimes he didn't sleep at all. Or he fell asleep close to the time Tony had to wake him for school.

"_Tony? It's me," Ellena said tentatively._

"_Hi," Tony answered softly. "How are you?"_

"_I'm fine."_

_Tony could hear the smile in her voice. Some feelings apparently would never fade away. _

"_Me too," he answered._

_On the other end of the line Tony could hear her sigh and hesitate to speak._

"_You know you can just tell me Elli," Tony said encouragingly._

_She nodded and then she realized he couldn't see so she started to speak._

"_I can't go on anymore Tony. I haven't had a decent night's sleep for ages. His sleeplessness has gotten worse and he's noisy all night long. Tobbe is more nervous and moody than ever before. Doctors refuse to medicate him because none of them dickheads know how to deal with an autistic child." _

_Tony heard her taking a deep and shaky breath and the tears that were threatening to fall because of the guilt she felt about the call to him and the meaning of it._

"_I thought about a care facility for him," Ellena choked out._

_It broke Tony's heart to hear that and he knew hers was breaking too. The silence was thick with sadness and guilt and it seemed to last an eternity._

_Suddenly Tony said:" I'll take him. I know it's gonna be hell for some months because he has to adjust. I mean you won't be there. A new school…"_

Some weeks after that phone call Tobin had moved in with his father, attended a new school and tried to adjust to his new life. That was two months ago.

* * *

Ziva sat at her desk in the NCIS headquarters pondering the situation she had just witnessed. The way Tony had looked when they had entered his house. When they had discovered his secret. Why the hell did he actually keep it a secret? They would have been more than willing to help. In this moment McGee came down the stairs that led to the director's office. He had decided to go up to her office instead of calling her. He wanted to talk that through with Ziva because he couldn't wrap his head around what he had seen today.

"Why do you think he kept his son from us?" McGee asked Ziva.

Ziva simply shrugged because she had asked herself the same question ever since she went out of her partner's home and failed to come up with an answer.

"Ok I can understand why he confided with Ducky but I don't get why Abby knew and we didn't."

"And Gibbs. He kept his son from Gibbs."

* * *

Abby had left a devastated Tony. After he had pleaded with them to help him find a way out of this mess he had maneuvered himself into. Both Ducky and Abby couldn't come up with a solution. She felt bad for leaving him and not being able to help him. She feared that Tony had dug his own grave. While driving her hearse home she thought of Ziva and Tim and how lost they had seemed. Within a second she turned at a traffic light and headed in the direction of the NCIS HQ where she assumed them to be.

* * *

"Abby!" Both McGee and Ziva exclaimed.

"What happened? I mean did Gibbs let Tony live?" McGee asked concerned.

"Of course he did Timmy!" Abby answered shocked.

"But Tony shouted at Gibbs. I hope he didn't screw this one up too badly. But he was really angry and took it out on Gibbs."

Ziva who usually had her emotions in check couldn't help stare at Abby her mouth open in surprise and shock.

"No say he didn't!" McGee almost pleaded.

"Oh boy," Ziva said concerned.

After a long and thick silence Ziva suddenly asked:" How long did you know about his son?"

Abby bit her lip before answering:" I've known for quite a while. He told me about him four years ago when he had to cancel a movie night for the fifth time in a row and I was pretty pissed. I let him know over the phone and suddenly the bell rang and he stood outside my door asking me to accompany him. He apologized and promised me I'd find out the reason real soon. We drove to a small town near Baltimore and he introduced me to his ex girlfriend and his autistic son Tobin."

McGee had his head down and listened intently wondering how they never had a clue about what has been going on in Tony's life. He had the scene of this evening still in mind. How the place looked like. The petrified screams of a child. The exhausted look in Tony's eyes when he had re entered the room.

When he looked up at Abby he asked:"Why didn't he ever tell us Abs? Instead he let us talk about him never being serious or being so childish when he really had to deal with a lot?"

Abby smiled sadly and shrugged. After a while she decided to try for an answer.

"I think it's about his past. I mean the person who he is now. The urge to prove himself. And added to that he is not really good at asking for help. I mean honestly what would we have done? I still don't really know how to handle Tobin when he freaks out. You know you can't hold him like you would hold a "normal" child when it is afraid of something. Most of the time Tony doesn't know what causes Tobin's outbursts. Or what he is scared of," Abby answered.

"I guess the last time Tony had a decent night's sleep was as Tobin still lived with his mom."

Again a heavy silence spread between them and then Abby and McGee decided to leave.

* * *

"Hello?" Ducky called into the basement.

"Jethro you should lock your door. Everyone can come in," Ducky told his friend.

Gibbs crawled out from under his boat and faced his old friend who was standing right in front of him and smiled at him.

"A drink Ducky?" Gibbs asked while he poured some scotch into two cups and handed one to Ducky.

"Sure!" he answered drinking from it.

"You know he won't make it to the office on time Jethro. On Mondays and Fridays Tony has to bring Tobbe himself to school," Ducky reasoned.

"No, I obviously didn't because he didn't inform me on his son or on anything of significance happening in his life," Gibbs answered coldly.

Ducky replied amused:" Is that jealousy I detect in your voice?"

Gibbs met Ducky's amused look with one of his steel cold one's but remained silent. Ducky was unimpressed and didn't back down.

"You're hurt he didn't confide in you. But if you're only his Boss why do you feel hurt Jethro?"

Ducky knew he was maneuvering himself into dangerous waters but he kept going. Because he knew what he had seen when Tony had started his angry rant. Pride about the courage Tony had shown.

Ducky!" Gibbs growled warningly.

But Ducky ignored this despite the danger.

"You know Tony, Jethro. He has the same amount of damn pride as you have. He wanted to make this on his own. You felt pride when he stood up to you. I don't know why but it was there."

With that Ducky placed his cup on the boat and left Gibbs to contemplate what he had just been told.

Gibbs had felt that pride come up in him too. He couldn't find any sense in that feeling in that moment but it had been there. Now he knew where it had come from and what it meant. It was being a father. Knowing how to deal with your own child and to not let anybody change that. It was being protective of one's status. Only him, Tony, was Tobin's father and nobody else had the right to claim to be better or to meddle with what he did and said. Nevertheless he wouldn't let him off the hook so easily.

* * *

**Monday NCIS HQ**

McGee was already there typing away on his computer. Probably finishing an old report. Ziva was probably doing the same at least she was working on her pc. Gibbs entered the bullpen and walked up from behind Ziva's desk so he got a glimpse on what she was working on. He was not surprised to find her studying an article about autism and the effect it had on the parents or the family in general. Gibbs had read a similar article this morning. He had been in early.

Gibbs made himself known and looked pointedly at the only missing Agent's desk.

Both Ziva and McGee stuttered and stumbled over possible excuses for their teammate but failed to come up with a compatible one. When they looked at each other defeated Tony chose to make his appearance.

"Sorry boss. I know you expect me on time but I….."

But Gibbs cut him off with one movement of his hand and left. Tony looked first at Ziva then at McGee trying to find out what that was supposed to mean. When they both shrugged he swallowed hard and sat down feeling uneasy. He hastily started to work on some old reports he still had to finish when Ziva interrupted his work.

"It must be hard to …. Ähm.. to have a child… you know….. like Tobin," she stuttered uneasy and compassionate.

"I mean hard on you and your relationship to your ex- girlfriend."

Tony looked up at her surprised to find compassion and not anger or hurt in her voice.

"Sometimes," he answered still taken aback by her demeanor.

"You know Tony you can be honest here. Nobody will judge you," McGee said timidly.

"Ellena and I tried to…ähm…. You know I was at work and she was home all day… She reached the point of pure exhaustion two month ago and we are looking for a care facility for him at the moment. But…..ähm… it's feels abandoning him." Tony told them sadly and guiltily.

Both Ziva and McGee went over to him and tried to offer him solace.

"You shouldn't feel that way Tony. I mean you go and visit him and take him home every time your off work." She smiled warmly at him trying to make him believe her words.

McGee said:" I read an article about the effect it can have on the parents of an autistic child. You can handle him but with work."

But to both McGee's and Ziva's surprise Tony didn't burst he simply answered:" Thank you. I know."

Then he looked away feeling a little ashamed for ever doubting that.

* * *

Suddenly he leapt to his feet and went to search for his boss. After what felt like hours he found him in MTAC.

"Hehemm," Tony cleared his throat before slowly and timidly approaching his boss.

"Can we talk boss?"Tony asked tentatively

Gibbs fixed him with one of his intense stares making Tony feel highly uncomfortable but after a long silent pause he nodded and led Tony out into the conference room. He took a seat and waited with an unnerving silence.

Tony felt nervous and didn't really know how to start.

"Ähmm… Boss I'm sorry for shouting at you. I had no right to take my stress and stuff out on you. I…."

Then Gibbs cut him off:" You know what I think of apologiz….."

This time he was cut off by Tony:" I know but today just let me apologize."

"Do you wanna start again Dinozzo?" Gibbs growled.

Tony shook his head but he was too focused on how he would say what he wanted to say that he didn't really hear the threatening undertone.

Gibbs let it slide for once.

"Abby kept berating me to tell all of you the moment she got to know Tobbe. I Thought because she thought I wouldn't make it. I know now that I was terribly wrong. Asking or accepting help doesn't mean I failed. But I still think that you had no right to be so angry with me for not confiding in you because only I or his mother do really know what is best for Tobbe and what is not. I don't know it all but I know more than anyone of you guys know so you had no right to be so angry," Tony concluded.

He looked up at Gibbs trying to find out if those words he had found had been right or wrong. He felt a little unnerved by Gibbs relentless stare and his silence.

Suddenly Gibbs stood up went towards Tony slapped him on the back of his head and said friendly:" So Mondays and Fridays you come in an hour later."

With that he left Tony standing there rubbing the back of his head and suddenly a smile spread across his face and he went to follow his boss.

* * *

**It's an interesting song that inspired me to write this chapter. But it is in German. I hope you have in mind that not every life with an autistic child is so hard like described for the story. Those two could also be little angels. It's simply because austistic people see the world differently.  
**

**Please leave me a review.....**


End file.
